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Rickety cricket

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He brags about his incredible hand-to-hand combat skills, strength, and general athletic ability though it is quite obvious he lacks any real skill or even a proper sense of balance.

His full name is revealed to be Ronald McDonald in the seventh-season episode "The High School Reunion", though his last name involving "Mac" had been established since the introduction of his father.

It is heavily implied throughout the series that Mac is gay, even momentarily coming out of the closet in season 11, and again in season 12, although this time permanently.

He also displays anti-semitic views, driven by his Catholic upbringing. He is played by Rob McElhenney. Dennis is Deandra's twin brother and co-owner of Paddy's.

He is narcissistic, superficial, demented, hypersexual, selfish, and abrasive, perpetuated by his Ivy League education at the University of Pennsylvania.

Dennis is repeatedly implied to be a sociopath, and in one episode was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and prescribed medication.

His sense of self-worth is entirely dependent on what others think of his appearance and he often suggests the best way to sleep with a woman is to make her think she may be raped or by using his personal system, the D.

Some of the things he says hint that Dennis may be a serial killer and rapist, though this remains ambiguous, with one episode suggesting that he collects suitcases made of human skin.

He even threatens to kill his sister, cut her body into small pieces, and put those pieces into a glass box and put it on display.

He is revealed to be an atheist in the season 7 episode "Sweet Dee Gets Audited. He is played by Glenn Howerton. Deandra usually called Dee or Sweet Dee is Dennis' twin sister, the main bartender at Paddy's, and the show's main female character.

She is most often subject to ridicule from The Gang in many different forms: They don't count her as one of the gang, but rather as just someone who works for them.

Dee dreams of becoming an actress even though she has no acting experience and no talent; however, she deludes herself into falsely thinking she is a talented actress, comedian, and singer.

Like her brother, Dee is egocentric and often states that she thinks she is talented and pretty, although she is constantly told otherwise; as an example, she has been told she is "a disgusting whore" and "looks like a Holocaust victim".

She is played by Kaitlin Olson. Frank is the legal but not biological father of twins Dennis and Dee, and possibly the biological father of his roommate Charlie.

In season 13, his expired driver's license displays his date of birth as July 31, He constantly carries a gun with him and frequently pulls it out for any number of situations.

He used to be a successful businessman with a long history of illegal operations such as running sweat shops and drug-dealing and dealings with sordid characters.

Though he is fairly wealthy and has the money to live elsewhere, he chooses to live in squalor with Charlie in order to add excitement to his life following his split from his ex-wife Barbara, who he frequently refers to as his "whore wife".

This lifestyle choice involves eating cat food, living on about five dollars a week, keeping a mini meats fridge in his apartment, as well as sausages in his shirt pocket and sharing a bed with Charlie, which is also their couch.

He is the only member of the gang to involve himself with politics, frequently ranting about how bad the government is. He doesn't believe in or trust psychiatrists, and was admitted into a school for clinically insane children for a short while as a child, before he was cleared of any legal mental issues; having received a certificate stating that he did not have donkey brains.

He is frequently seen in strip clubs, and sleeping with prostitutes even becoming engaged to a "crack whore" in the season 7 premiere.

He is portrayed by Danny DeVito. Artemis Dubois Artemis Pebdani is one of the more frequently recurring secondary characters, introduced in "Charlie Gets Cancer" as Dee's friend from her acting classes who acts out a scene from Coyote Ugly a film that featured Kaitlin Olson in a small part.

Artemis is overly serious about her craft and displays bizarre habits and outbursts. She is very open about her sexuality and often offers to perform in the nude, even when it is unnecessary.

Recently, she was involved in a sexual relationship with Frank and the two shared a food fetish. She likes having sex with bacon bits in her hair because it "makes her feel like a Cobb salad.

She has openly proclaimed that she has a " bleached asshole ". Brad dated both Dee and the Waitress in High School but both dumped him because of his acne.

He rekindles both relationships in a plot to humiliate them. Charlie gives Brad a wedding gift of a box full of hornets. Brad returns in the season 7 episode "The High School Reunion" where his face is scarred from the hornet stings.

He gets "revenge" on Charlie for this by attempting to give him a wedgie when Charlie has passed out from huffing chemicals in a restroom, but is horrified when Charlie's filthy underwear splinters into shreds in his hands.

Carmen Brittany Daniel is a trans woman who was dating Mac. She is attractive and displays an obvious bulge in her pants.

She keeps Mac interested in her with promises of undergoing sexual reassignment surgery and with constant flattery of Mac's physique.

In "Mac Fights Gay Marriage", she has had genital reassignment surgery and has gotten married to Nick, much to Mac's dismay.

In "Dee Gives Birth" it is revealed that Carmen is the father of Dee's baby she had her sperm frozen before she had GRS and that they used an anonymous egg donor and Dee was merely a surrogate.

Dee gave the baby to Carmen and her husband Nick to raise. In the unaired pilot Carmen is portrayed by Morena Baccarin.

Duncan David Gueriera and his right-hand man, Z Chad Coleman , are Frank's bizarre friends that he met under a bridge.

They appear in "Charlie Kelly: King Of The Rats" where Frank wants the gang to invite them to go to the gang's luau.

Z also makes a brief appearance in "The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award," as The Gang attempts to show that they are a diverse crowd; the episode then makes a pointed reference to the no-Emmy wins-ever show Coleman formerly starred on, The Wire when Dennis flatly states that "black bars don't win awards.

Da Maniac Roddy Piper is a deranged, homeless wrestler. The gang enlists him for their wrestling act in season five, and he drifts into both their timeshare scam and pyramid scheme in season 9, the latter of which he proves surprisingly adept at.

When the guys suggest that he adopt a terrorist-themed persona for a match, his response is simply to repeat the phrase "I'm When asked if he has children, he ominously replies, "Naw Despite his mental illness, da Maniac is a competent wrestler, with props, determined rates, and a sense for wrestling trends.

He also displays marked skills as a salesperson in "Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare", far outselling all other Invigaron distributors. Ernie David Zdunich is the "Barfly" who is commonly seen in the background in the bar.

He is in every single episode that is shot in the bar, but he is noticed in the episode "Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia. David Zdunich died in A portrait of Ernie David is hung behind the bar in memoriam.

Gladys Mae Laborde is a senior citizen the gang calls upon who has a penchant for long rambling stories. She played the piano during Charlie's play in the season 4 finale "The Nightman Cometh".

Dennis pretends she is his grandmother to win back a former girlfriend in "The D. She claims she was friends with Calvin Coolidge and that her grandmother was the lesbian lover of Susan B.

Josh Groban himself is a famous singer. Dee and Artemis are huge Groban fans, calling themselves "Grobanites". Dee's love of the singer leads her to self-tan and wear white shorts, explaining "Josh Groban likes his ladies to pop".

Dee and Artemis get backstage passes to a Groban show, but Dee is unable to attend because Frank had poisoned her and tied her up. In the fantasy, Dee is a celebrity who achieves fame after entering witness protection through her portrayal of an English butler character, in an allusion to the s television series Mr.

She marries Groban, but their marriage lasts only 17 minutes with Dee divorcing Groban for Brad Pitt. He first appeared in the season 1 finale "Charlie Got Molested" wherein Charlie's family gives him an intervention to get him to admit he had been molested by his elementary school teacher this belief was fostered by the scam the McPoyles were running to extort money from the school system.

Uncle Jack appears again in the season 5 episode "The Great Recession. Jack insists they share the room and spend time wrestling there. In the season 6 episode "Dennis Gets Divorced," Charlie and Frank call in Jack, who is revealed to be a lawyer, to handle their divorce.

Later, Dennis and Mac use him to try to get their apartment back from Dennis' ex-wife, only to find that she hired The Lawyer.

Jack has a bizarre fixation on the size of his hands, constantly worrying that they may appear to be too small. It is heavily implied that Uncle Jack is a pedophile and wants to have sex with his nephew.

Charlie has mentioned how, as a child, he would stay awake at night because Uncle Jack would want to sleep in his bed. Coincidentally, Charlie's lyrics to "Nightman" seem to revolve around a man sneaking into his room at night and raping him.

He returns in Season 5, eager to personally stop Frank—he represents a family that Frank is trying to force out of their house.

After Charlie makes an attempt to prove that he's more legally apt than the actual lawyer, he challenges him to a duel; the lawyer immediately accepts, claiming to have a loaded gun in his office desk.

Home of the Original Kitten Mittens" when The Gang goes to him to get patents for products that they have created. He later tricks them into signing a document that grants him all the profits from the products as well as imposing a restraining order on them.

In Season 11 he represents one of the McPoyles in a lawsuit against Bill Ponderosa over a bird attack that cost his client an eye, but in addition to being hit with nonsensical anti-Semitic baiting from Frank and Dee even though he's not Jewish , he ends up injuring one of his eyes in another bird attack that leads to Bill's acquittal.

Dennis convinces Dee to dump Kevin because he's retarded only for her to later discover he isn't. He later returns as one of Dee's baby's potential fathers in "Dee Gives Birth".

The Korean Busboy Maxie J. Dee sleeps with him to get information about their secret microbrew recipe. He gives her a note written in Korean purportedly containing the recipe, but when the Gang has it translated it turns out to read "Bony American is dirty dirty whore.

She bring much shame to herself and country. Matthew Mara , better known as Rickety Cricket David Hornsby , is a Catholic priest who becomes defrocked , destitute , abducted , assaulted both physically and sexually , threatened , hunted , severely injured and addicted to cocaine all directly or indirectly resulting from the influence or action of Dee, Dennis, Charlie, Frank and Mac.

As a boy he suffered from a medical condition that required the use of very conspicuous complex leg braces which inspired the pejorative nickname "Rickety Cricket".

He first appears in "The Gang Exploits a Miracle" where it is revealed that he has continued to harbor a high school crush on Dee who at the time used an elaborate semi-permanent aluminum medical back brace.

He admits he was convinced to eat horse feces for a chance to kiss Dee, which she refused since, as she says, "his breath smelled like shit".

Mac and Dennis have been teabagging Cricket at every opportunity since high school. Dennis claims that he has a shoebox full of pictures of him and Mac doing this, and pictures are surfacing on the Internet.

One recurring theme in the series is Cricket's downward spiral; due to his involvement with the Gang he leaves the priesthood, supports himself by grifting or panhandling , becomes addicted to crack cocaine , has his legs broken by members of the Philadelphia Mafia , has his throat sliced by Frank in a wrestling match, is hunted by Mac and Dennis for sport, and suffers a gunshot wound in his hand when he is trespassing at Paddy's and Frank accidentally shoots him.

He is then left bleeding in the car by Frank and Dee while they go into a store full of hurricane-panicking people, and he ends up driving through the doors of the place and further injuring himself.

The wound to his throat wasn't fatal, but got badly infected, severely damaging his vocal chords and giving him a gravely voice. He has since carried a vendetta against The Gang and attempts to get his revenge in various episodes, but consistently fails to do so.

He shows up in "Mac's Big Break", when he appears on Dennis and Dee's inaugural podcast, remarking about his life as a homeless person - during this episode he reveals that he stopped believing in God since "a Chinaman stole my kidney ".

He also shows up in "Dee Gives Birth" because Frank was trying "to cast a wider net" in finding out the identity of Dee's baby's father and he considered Rickety Cricket to be "the wildcard".

He shows up at his high school reunion cleaned up, claiming to have returned to being a priest. However, he actually uses the opportunity to steal jewelry from the other alumni.

The other alumni mock him and physically eject him when it is discovered he has ring worms, but his rants about how Dee loved and left him leads the cool crowd to reject her.

In the season eight premiere, "Pop—Pop: The Final Solution", he is working at a local pound for community service. He has a new scar over his now-blind left eye, which he says was from a "skirmish" with a stray chocolate lab, in which he paralyzed the dog; later on he makes numerous references to raping and being raped by feral dogs.

He claims to be a dog executioner, but then admits he's a janitor. In Season 9, he suffers horrific facial burns when he's locked in Mac and Dennis's apartment during "The Gang Squashes Their Beefs" when a fire breaks out ironically, he was not even invited because the Gang didn't consider him someone they'd wronged , leaving the entire left side of his head covered in scar tissue.

In Season 10 when Charlie and Mac seek him out to help make their old friend Psycho Pete crazy and fun again, he is fully homeless and describes in disgusting detail the sex acts he must perform to earn money for alcohol and other drugs frequently remarking that it will cost a six pack of beer for him to perform oral sex.

Also from Season 10 onwards his crack-addicted life on the streets has resulted in him losing many of his teeth. After having half of his head nearly burned off, he also stops giving any thought whatsoever to his physical appearance, with long, filthy, matted hair and scraggly beard.

While he occasionally gives himself wipe-down showers in the bar's bathroom, he is almost always covered in an extensive coating of dirt and grime.

In Season 11's "Dee Made a Smut Film", Cricket says that a cat bit off one of his toes at some point, and describes in exacting detail how he was involved in a dog orgy almost bragging about it.

Cricket is given his own storyline in the Season 12 episode "A Crickets Tale". In the episode, his father finds him and gives him a chance to turn his life around and work at his company.

Cricket accepts the job offer and starts turning his life around and meets a woman he falls in love with. However, it turns out that Cricket was halluciating from PCP and that the woman is actually a dog.

Dejected, Cricket decides to turn back to his old lifestyle. In the episode, the gang casually mentions that they injected a GPS pet tracking chip into Cricket's body, without his knowledge.

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